As temperatures drop and workloads increase, students across campus have begun to ‘get into the holiday spirit’ by partaking in a multitude of traditions such as drinking hot cocoa with friends, organizing “secret snowflake” gift exchanges, and seasonally decorating their dorm rooms. Amidst the mounting excitement for the holidays and the characteristic bustle of ‘Winterlude,’ however, one group of students has been preparing for the new year in a particularly exciting way. The newest a cappella group on campus, Jock-a-pella—with whom reporters touched base in the fall term, prior to the group’s first performance—has been hard at work practicing a medley of holiday song arrangements, and students are beyond eager to hear them.

“As soon as I saw their first school meeting performance, I was in love,” said the head of the Jock-a-pella fan club, which meets in Lanphier 212 at 6:15 each Monday. Her voice rising a full octave and approximately twenty decibels, she continued, “They were The Beatles meets One Direction meets Drake meets Bruno Mars meets The Jonas Brothers meets…”— and with that she fainted, reportedly overwhelmed by her own reminiscence on the performance. By press time, she had reportedly managed to recover, thanks to a rehabilitation program specifically designed to help the scores of Choate students dealing with Jock-a-pella addiction.

Recently, the group invited reporters to sit in on a rehearsal. After the practice had ended, reporters managed to attain an exclusive interview with the head of Jock-a-pella. “It’s been a busy couple of weeks around here,” said the group’s president, lovingly called ‘Captain’ by the group’s adoring fans, “but we’re pretty excited to perform at the Holiday Program.”

“We’ve got some real special stuff planned,” he said with a wink, prompting one reporter to faint.

Multiple sources in the PMAC have reported that the members of Jock-a-pella have been practicing for a minimum of three hours each day for the past week, resulting in many of the group’s members skipping their various athletic practices in order to pursue their musical passions. However, true to their name, members of Jock-a-pella continued to bring their athletic gear to the lobby each practice, prompting numerous complaints from Arts Concentration students. Reportedly, when one student inquired as to the reason that they were ‘cranking it so much’ for the holidays, ‘Captain’ replied,

“Because we’re piped up.”

Many will be excited to learn, however, that Jock-a-pella’s plans for the season do not end with their performance at Holiday Program.  The group has revealed a series of plans for the new year, including—but not limited to—a campus-wide tour that will include all male and female dormitories, with the sole exception of Squire Stanley. In addition, the group has hinted at a possible members’ calendar for 2016 featuring various photographs of group members that will reportedly “make the fans very happy.” Said one member, “It’ll be hotter than Justin Bieber’s Calvin Klein shoot.”

Possibly the most exciting of all of their plans, however, is a 20-song holiday album, which the group is currently recording. One critic who previewed the album stated, “Jock-a-pella’s beautiful, masterful fusion of football and holiday cheer is sure to appeal to just about everyone. This album is already shaping up to be one of the best of 2016.” Included on the CD are classics such as Snoop Dogg’s “Santa Claus Goes Straight to the Ghetto,” Jim Jones’s “Ballin’ on Xmas,” the Ying Yang Twins’ “Deck da Club,” and J.S. Bach’s “Lasset Uns Nun Gehen.” Less well-known songs such as “Little Drummer Boy,” “Jingle Bells,” and “Frosty the Snowman” will also be featured. The album will be released on January 32, 2016 and will be available for purchase at the school store, as well as on iTunes. Already a school-wide favorite, Jock-a-pella is sure to change the hearts of every Grinch and Scrooge on campus.