With the 2020 election right around the corner, it is obvious that some voters are beginning to pick favorites. Whether your political alignment is auth-left, lib-right, or off the compass (assimilate), you at least know some of the big-name American presidential candidates. This cycle, we saw a shōnen showdown between two Democratic candidates: Bernard Sanders and Joseph Biden. While Bernie has unfortunately dropped out of the presidential race and endorsed Biden, he can still clinch the Democratic nomination and, ultimately, the presidency.

Political analysts all over the country have speculated how Sanders could still achieve a win. While vote tallies show a clear bias towards Biden, Surveymonkey polls conducted on well-respected, unbiased political websites such as Reddit and Tumblr detail the true power of Sanders’ voter base. With this base to rally around him, Sanders could ask his fans to become volunteer callers –– the true lobbyists of America –– and have them bombard the DNC’s customer service line. Though the answering machine lacks sentience, the phone activism will definitely cause some change. 

About 50 percent of the United States approves of the current president, Donald Trump. While his supporters may have a completely different political alignment, Bernie could potentially capture their hearts by simply adorning a Trump costume. Clearly, it is not Donald Trump’s actions that cause his followers to like him, so it just might be his strikingly good looks. Our readers agree that Sanders is a solid 5/10, but Trump easily surpasses him at a strong 11, aided by his oversized suits and captivating orange hue. Maybe a new face and fit could finesse the W for Bernard? 

Following in the footsteps of our current president, Sanders could also take to Twitter to build his base. Trump’s Twitter trips are incredibly popular, so couldn’t Bernie just tweet “I win” and call it a day? It would be revolutionary! He could go even bigger, publicly calling for his hive of volunteers to hack into Biden’s Twitter and tweet “I give up.” What a power play! Such impressive political calculus.

With the release of “Animal Crossing: New Horizons” on the Nintendo Switch, a new controversy has blanketed the nation: time travel. Heated conflicts have sprouted up over the ethics of time travel in the game; while all good people do not time skip, Bernie could utilize the game’s mechanic to travel back to any integral point of history and use the influence of his presence to secure the nomination and Oval Office. Speaking outside of all this political mumbo-jumbo, does anyone know when you are supposed to sell turnips? I thought the price would go up throughout the week, but I had to sell out at 26 bells/turnip. This Nintendo stock market is beginning to reflect the actual economy.

An Uno reverse card is possibly the most powerful tool Sanders could pull out of his pocket. While some may argue that a +4 card carries more utility, a reverse card can get you out of any sticky situation. About to be arrested? Uno reverse. Your mom tells you you are a disappointment? Uno reverse. You are about to lose the Democractic nomination in your last viable year of candidacy? Uno reverse? What could Biden do if he was on stage accepting the nomination and Bernie walked up to silently hand him the card? He could not refute Bernie’s play. This is an easy way for Bernie to win the spot. To go even bigger, he could do the same thing at Trump’s or Biden’s inauguration and simply go into office immediately. 

Bernie Sanders still has a shot, guys. All we need to do is, like, call our senators and, like, tell them we want him.