While Choate’s student body is trapped at home to aid in social distancing efforts, the school administration has found a new way to facilitate entertainment and engagement with the world: providing each student with a Disney+ subscription. This service gives students access to Disney’s extensive array of movie and television options, from Pixar and the Star Wars franchise to National Geographic offerings. It also offers accessibility to non-pirated versions of Disney originals, including funny family flicks like Random Marvel Superhero or High School Musical: the Movie, the Play, the Show, the Boardgame, and the Novel. The service has already proven extremely popular amongst students. To quote fifth former M. Mouse (mmouse21@choate.edu), “I would sell my soul to Disney the first chance I get. I go to Disneyland every summer, and have sunk enough money into this corporate behemoth that I could buy a significant portion of its stock.” On the other hand, some students are skeptical of the school supporting a business that has a monopoly on digital entertainment. sony20@choate.edu wrote to Lorem Ipsum*: “I don’t think it’s fair that Choate is only giving out a subscription to one particular service. And that’s not even mentioning all the good stuff on cable! Nobody watches actual TV like real men anymore.” 

Despite the few critiques, the subscription has provided great joy throughout the Choate community as students remain at home. ITS reports that video piracy on Choate student devices (yes, they keep track!) has gone down by 50 percent since the purchase. This is a great improvement from an earlier scandal this year involving four students selling out Disney+ passwords, which eventually led to a 400-person Zoom screening of the Mandalorian’s finale that had to be shut down by the Technology Department. It appears the Golden Age of Piracy has ended, as students have found a new, more ethical way to procrastinate from writing essays.