As of last week, Choate Rosemary Hall has been declared cancelled by Dr. Curtis. The cancellation came at the beginning of the class day, rendering everyone who read the tweet in shock. How could this have happened? Many students, believing that it was an absurdly early President’s Day, left their A block classes in sheer glee. Others took it for what it really was: metaphorical cancellation.

         Cancel culture in and of itself is an enigma. It lives on social media websites like Instagram and Twitter and has slowly wound itself around the minds of young, impressionable teens. If a person or organization has any dirt on them, then it can and will be dug up. As countless scientists have states, it is Murphy’s Law of Cancellation: if something can be cancelled, it will be cancelled. But what kind of grudge could Dr. Curtis have against Choate to go as far as cancelling the school that he himself dominates? We have interviewed a few inside sources that could hold some answers. 

         Rumor has it that Choate is slightly problematic. As one student pondered, “Realistically, it’s because everyone on our campus is so woke. Like, we all really understand the world around us and how all our choices can have downstream effects. I’m part of the seventeen feminist clubs on campus, every faith group, and at least half of the affinity groups here. Maybe the problem is that we’re too good. Maybe he’s cancelled.” Other students had wildly different ideas. “[Dr.] Curtis obviously cancelled us because the faculty and staff are problematic,” claimed Caighleigh Horkness ‘23. When asked to expand on what she meant by “problematic,”she scoffed and called the interviewer ignorant.

         What does cancellation mean for the school as a whole though? For starters, it is safe to assume that Dr. Curtis himself will resign. After all, he is the one who issued the formal cancellation. A few other staff members have been vocal about their disgust towards the school for even letting its habits get to the point of it being cancelled, however vague such habits are. As for the rest of the school, everything hangs in a gentle balance. For now, classes are set to continue for at least the next two weeks until the cancellation process is in full swing. Some students may choose to withdraw from the school to avoid being part of such controversy and to protect their reputation from being tarnished. Others may remain, either disinterested or ride-or-dies. Any way you look at it, active social media users will find the sudden event of Choate’s cancellation surprising.

         The Head of School has refused to elaborate on why he issued the decree. “How could you have not known what you were doing wrong? You should have fixed it by now!” he remarked. It seems that, for now, this cancellation will be shrouded in mystery.