In an interview with reporters during the final quarter of a game last week, Coach LJ Spinnato described his growing feelings of worry over the football team’s performance, which he described as “barely making ends meet.” The coach told reporters that, now deep into the season, he was “beginning to doubt the boys’ drive,” referencing the team’s 8-0 record for the year, which he cited as “not their best.”

“Sure, they’re still working at it, but it’s like they’ve lost something that they had at the beginning. I mean, just look,” Spinnato said, gesturing to the scoreboard, which read 86-0 in favor of Choate, “the boys I knew at the beginning of the year would never let the score get this close. It’s like they’ve hit a rut.”

Coming off of a series of similarly tense games, with scores such as 93-3, 54-0, and 119-7, Coach Spinnato had developed multiple theories as to what could be leading to his team’s sudden dip in performance. “They could be distracted by senior soccer, or stressed out by their midterm grades,” he explained as the boys scored another field goal. “Or maybe it could be that they just aren’t getting enough sleep.”

“In any case, Deerfield Day’s coming up soon,” Coach Spinnato went on to explain as the team made an interception, which lead to another touchdown. “I really hope they’ve figured it out by then.”

At press time, the coach for the opposing team was reportedly seen breaking his clipboard in half out of frustration and driving off the field in a golf cart.