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Memorial House Prefects Go Double-Platinum (With No Features)

According to the Recording Industry Association of America, the Memorial House prefect team’s most recent releases have propelled the dorm to the top of the Choate rap game, topping the Billboard 100 and going double-platinum with no features. The group’s most popular single, “The Mansion,” has been praised by hip-hop critics for its “exceptional ad libs” and its gift to fans of an inside look into the clandestine lives of Mem residents—all the while challenging the traditional boundaries of music.

One highlight of the song, the prefects’ shout of, “crop top gang,” on the third and fourth floors of the dorm, has even spurred its own coterie of memes and specialized, club-ready dances. Even gaining attention internationally, the decision by Jason Weng ’17 to incorporate a foreign language into his rapped verses has been met with widespread praise. With the global success of the groundbreaking track, many students on campus have been wondering about the group’s process.

As an anonymous Mem resident told reporters, “The beats were cooked up in the crockpots of the Meme House Palace by Thomas Issa [’17] and Omar John [’17].” Elaborating, the student revealed that the foundation of the catchy lyrics was a product of the hard work put in by Stephen Ankoue ’17 in the depths of the PMAC. The combination of Ankoue’s talent, the varied musical knowledge of Kevin Auman ’17, and the unfailing charisma of Chris Birch ’17—two fellow Mem prefects—made the production of the hottest track on Choate campus seem almost awe-inspiringly easy. Given their double-platinum status, speculation about the next Mem prefect track release has already begun.

To assuage the concern that the group would be content with only one popular single, sources within Mem have publicly revealed the group’s intent to collaborate with artists such as Drake, Migos, and Future. According to one leak from within her team, Beyoncé has also reportedly reached out to Mem, aiming to release a possible visual album by late March. As a result of their meteoric rise to fame on campus, the Mem prefects have amassed quite a few detractors, whom fans of the group have identified as merely jealous.

Notably outspoken detractors from Hill House and Tenney House inveighed against the group, but fans were quick to respond. “It just takes a certain level of intel-of-gents [sic] to vibe to their music,” said Sarah Gelbach ’17, “Not everyone can comprehend its genius.” In response to widespread criticism, the Mem prefects remained noticeably silent—something many fans analyzed as a conscious attempt to subtly demean their critics. However, the move also led some fans to wonder if success had begun to go to the group’s heads, evidenced by its recent refusal to interview with TMZ, which Mr. James Yanelli, the group’s manager, revealed the group considered, “too low for them.” Although many fans believe that the group has the potential to achieve A-list celebrity status, loyal listeners emphasize that the group’s, “focus on the music,” should continue to be its central principle.

At press time, a concert schedule including tour stops at SAC Karaoke Nights, the Lit Launch Party, and Coachella was released with an announcement of the group’s next EP date: April 20, 2017.