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Intramural Farming Claims Another Victim

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After an “especially taxing practice,” fourth form intramural farmer Eliza Mackeero ’19 was spotted in the Johnson Athletic Center’s trainers’ office icing her leg and discussing an injury with a trainer. Reports stated that Mackeero entered the office with a limp and a hunched-over posture, wincing with each step. Upon questioning by reporters, Mackeero revealed that her injuries were likely suffered as a result of the “high-intensity workout” at farming that day.

“Well, today we turned up the beds, which takes a lot of effort,” Mackeero said. “The dirt is really heavy, and there’s a lot of dirt that needs to be turned up. I should’ve probably stretched before and after the workout, but I was so physically and emotionally drained from the actual exercise that I totally forgot.”

Upon first entering the trainers’ room, Mackeero was directed to ice her shoulder. However, after about seven minutes, witnesses state that she got up to walk around before wincing, groaning, and asking for further instruction.
“My back started bothering me right after my shoulder got numb,” Mackeero said. “I just hope I didn’t throw it out. I’ve heard my fair share of horror stories of Choate farmers from years past missing full seasons because of injuries like the one I might have.”

After aggressively using a foam roller for twenty-five minutes, Mackeero spoke to reporters again. “That’s the tradeoff with a sport like farming, I guess. When I signed up for it, I was fully aware of the great risk of injury attached to such a high-intensity activity. Even though it’s not a “varsity sport,” I think the work we put in speaks for itself. When you’re training at this high a level, injuries just become a part of life. Ask any farmer and they’ll tell you the same thing.”

At press time the next day, Mackeero was seen waiting for a chance to use the Game-Ready and texting a teammate, “Tell coach I can’t come to practice.”