Last week, in a unanimous vote among the Board of Trustees, Donald Trump was chosen as the speaker for this school year’s Diversity Day. Ryan Lochte, the other candidate considered by the Board, rejected his invitation, telling reporters, “I’m still too traumatized from an incident in Rio de Janeiro to make any public appearances for a while. Because Trump is “extremely busy,” reports state that he is still unsure whether he will be able to travel to Choate in early January. However, Trump has stated that should his schedule not permit the visit, he plans on addressing the Choate community anyway via livestream. In addition, he plans to bring his friend President Vladimir Putin to provide a “fresh perspective on world issues.”

To accompany their announcement of the speaker, the Choate administration also released a detailed schedule of events for the upcoming Diversity Day. The day will begin with a debate between Trump and the Young Democrats’ President, Mohammed Memfis ’17, where moderators will ask the nominee irrelevant questions in the hopes that he will talk about policy when he inevitably evades the topics actually posed to him. Following the debate, Trump will give a speech and hold a book-signing session for his ghostwritten piece “The Art of the Deal.” Later, students will meet for individual discussion pods throughout the remainder of the day, with one break for lunch. The Diversity Day Planning Committee has clarified that all catering will be supplied by the Trump Steaks, Trump Water, and Trump Wine organizations.

When asked about its motivations in choosing Trump as the Diversity Day speaker, the Choate administration stated that the GOP nominee was chosen because his background would provide over-privileged Choate students to with an understanding of the difficulties that others may face throughout their lives. In a recent interview, Trump commented, seemingly holding back tears, “It has not been easy for me. And you know—everyone knows, I’m a star; we have a movement going here—I started off in New York, in Queens, and my father gave me a loan—a very small loan, the smallest loan—of only a million dollars that I’ve had to work with to get where I am today.”

In a period of steady national progress toward increased tolerance, the administration believed it important to bring in someone who has constantly shown respect for people of all backgrounds, a fact evidenced by Trump’s immense popularity among minorities. “His inspiring rhetoric, appeal to minorities, and self-described inordinately large hands were all important considerations,” mentioned one board member when asked how the decision was made.

Even in light other notable special program speeches from recent years—such as Hillary Clinton’s lecture on online privacy and Anthony Weiner’s discussion of hookup culture—Trump maintains that his will be the most impactful for the community, telling reporters, “Believe me, it will be a tremendous success—the biggest, like nothing you’ve ever seen—just trust me.”

At press time, the head administrator tasked with planning Diversity Day commented on the decision, justifying to reporters, “What do we have to lose?”