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Boys’ Swim Team To Wear Little Santa Hats With Speedos

The recent influxes of uncharacteristically moderate temperatures, gentle sunshine, and seasonal holiday cheer have taken their toll on the Choate swim team, unaccustomed to conditions so disparate from how they feel. While many students head off to shoot a puck around on the ice or to spot their peer in a friendly game of volleyball, a select few make their daily descent into the wet, humid, chlorine-reeking basement room known as the Larry Hart Pool. For two hours a day, six days a week, the forty-one dedicated athletes toil endlessly, redoubling their efforts to secure another successful season. Such a strenuous, demanding sport can effect a sharp decrease in one’s morale, an inevitability that has led to an interesting new development regarding team uniforms. In recent weeks, the management for the CRH Boys’ Swim Team has declared that all swimmers are to wear with their Speedos—for all meets, practices, and associated team events—a Santa hat.

Citing the apparel as “superiorly hydrodynamic,” swim manager Matthew Henriquez ’18 commented, “If I know one thing, it’s that the boys have shown in practice each day that they really want to do well this season. I’m kind of new here, so I thought it wouldn’t hurt to bring a different perspective on how to improve. Back in Panama, a bunch of teams do stuff like this, and there must be some reason for it. I thought about that and said to myself, ‘Why not have the team try this out?’ So I brought the idea up, and no one had a problem with it.” According to in-practice time trials, the adjustment has improved the swimmers’ times by a subtle, yet significant margin.

On weekday afternoons, the team’s practice runs from 3:15 to 5:15. Though not usually an event to watch, the practice block has recently begun to attract spectators hoping to catch a glimpse of the famed twin Jimenez brothers, Spencer and Simon ’18, displaying the new Speedo-and-Santa-hat look—a phenomenon which bodes well in regards to future funding opportunities for the Choate swim program.  Stated one member of the team, “It’s a shame they can’t wear their Speedos and Santa hats during the school day. All that publicity and attention could really pull people in for our meets!”

Said one fan to a reporter at the most recent swim meet, “I think the outfits are cute, and they really embody the whole heart-warming feeling of the holiday season. They’re like a beacon of light for the whole school. We needed something innocently cute like this to distract us from all our work, anyway.”

At press time, members of the team were spotted posing in their new uniforms for various photographs, many of which would later surface on the Instagram and Facebook accounts of several third- and fourth-form girls.